


i'm no good without you

by wheezyboys



Series: better for you [3]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pre-Relationship, sorry not sorry @ mitch's dad, the sweater
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 22:49:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17150555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheezyboys/pseuds/wheezyboys
Summary: “i have three secrets,” mitch slurred, tucking himself into auston’s side.“okay,” he said.“revealing all three is like… unlocking the secret powers of the world,” mitch said before planting his face firmly back into auston’s stomach.auston hummed again, “why are you telling me this?”mitch shrugged, head turning so he could glance up at auston through eyes hidden by shaggy bangs.“’s like a quest,” mitch said. “a reason to keep me around.”‘i always want you around,’ is what auston wanted to say.COULD BE READ AS A STANDALONE





	i'm no good without you

**Author's Note:**

> this is all fiction like totally 100% unreal so if you are or know someone mentioned in the tags, please click away and save me from dying of embarrassment.
> 
> heyyyy this is unedited & from those sad boy hours holiday edition. take care this holiday season, folks! the origin of the sweater has been officially revealed!
> 
> this series is written so weirdly and in so many parts but ive got a folder full of half written things and like boi?? what do i do with it. the playlist for this series makes me so sad :(
> 
>  
> 
> TITLE COMES FROM RIHANNAS LOVE ON THE BRAIN ;p

the thing about mitch marner, auston learned, is that he reads like an open book. within minutes of knowing the kid, auston was sure he’d learnt his full life story, but there always seemed like there was more to be uncovered, and that’s what kept auston intrigued.

 

the first secret came out when the two of them were drunk off their asses at a halloween party, tucked in an upstairs bathroom where they wouldn’t be bothered.

 

auston had just tossed a jersey over his hoodie and jeans and called it a costume, while mitch got a little more into the face paint, fake blood dripping from the fangs he was wearing. it had taken a bit to get close like this with someone, a guy especially, but side by side in this bathtub, auston felt at home.

 

“i have three secrets,” mitch slurred, tucking himself into auston’s side.

 

auston hummed in question, so mitch repeated himself.

 

“i have three big secrets.”

 

“not including this one?” auston questioned, hand carding through mitch’s hair, bass heavy rap music blasting through the door.

 

“no, duh,” mitch said, sitting up with a grin, hands still on auston as if if he were to let go, the world would end. “that’s a little one. everyone knows that one. nobody knows all three—well maybe one or two people do, but! all three? nah, man!”

 

auston stared at him, a grin pulling at his lips.

 

“okay,” he said.

 

“revealing all three is like… unlocking the secret powers of the world,” mitch said before planting his face firmly back into auston’s stomach.

 

auston hummed again, “why are you telling me this?”

 

mitch shrugged, head turning so he could glance up at auston through eyes hidden by shaggy bangs.

 

“’s like a quest,” mitch said. “a reason to keep me around.”

 

‘i always want you around,’ is what auston wanted to say.

 

“alright, mitchy,” auston laughed out instead.

 

 

the first big secret came out following a rough game. mitch was still wearing his gear when everyone else had changed and started to head out.

 

the other boys made attempts at talking to him, but he wouldn’t snap out of it, eyes stuck on the space right in front of him.

 

zach was the last to leave before auston and mitch. he gave auston a concerned look, but auston waved him off.

 

“i got this.”

 

zach nodded and headed towards the door.

 

“just text me if anything happens.”

 

auston nodded, crouching in front of mitch when he heard the door close.

 

before he could ask what was up, mitch spoke.

 

“i’m so scared,” he said, in a cracked and defeated voice. “so fucking scared, matty.”

 

he gaze didn’t change, but auston could see his eyes filling up with tears.

 

“what’s going on, mitchy?” auston asked, concerned, hands finding themselves on mitch’s knees, gripping in what auston hoped was a stability bringing way.

 

“my dad’s going to kill me,” he said, quiet. “he’s going to murder me the moment i step inside that house.”

 

“what?” auston joked. “he found your stash?”

 

mitch let out a broken bark of laughter, before crumbling in front of auston’s eyes.

 

“i played so bad,” he said into his hands, tears falling freely. he choked back a sob and shook his head. “if i know where all my fuckups were, he does too.”

 

“mitchy,” auston said, confused, “it’s just a regular game. nothing important, nothing weighed on it. it can’t be that bad.”

 

mitch shook his head again.

 

“he hated me when i stopped skating seriously. i was eleven.” mitch said through hiccups. “he only started talking to me again last year when i told him i joined the high school team.”

 

auston stayed quiet, unsure of what to say in this situation, but it looked like he didn’t have to.

 

mitch stood suddenly.

 

“he knows i’m better than this. he thinks i’m the best,” mitch said with a sad shrug, lips unwillingly being pulled into a frown, words shaking with emotion. “he thinks his faggot son is the best around, and i just shattered that fucking dream.”

 

mitch was taller than auston in skates, but still melted into him as if he were the smaller when auston pulled him close.

 

“i’m so scared,” mitch said again, wet and desperate words spoken into auston’s neck. “he’s so unpredictable—i-i can’t stop him.”

 

auston shuddered, thinking about what something as simple as mitch going home could bring. desperate, he questioned any circumstance.

 

“what about your mom?”

 

mitch let out a quiet laugh.

 

“she can’t stop him either,” he said. “she’ll clean up his mess, and hug me when it’s all over but—he’s a hurricane, aus. we can’t do anything.”

 

“come to mine,” auston said, quiet and desperate, continuing before mitch could, “i know it won’t stop him forever, but you’re exhausted, and it’ll give us a little time to think it over, and it’ll give him a little time to cool down.”

 

mitch stepped back, face red, eyes redder, “what do i tell them?”

 

“tell them the captain invited you over to run drills, and that you’d be practicing late, and you might not make it home.”

 

mitch stared at auston, before taking out his phone from inside his locker.

 

auston couldn’t ignore how his hands shook, or how he immediately turned off his phone once the message was sent.

 

“go on,” he said, after a moment. “sit, i’ll undo your skates, and we can just get out of here, you could shower at mine.”

 

mitch nodded, and sat back on the bench, auston retaking his crouched position as he pulled at mitch’s laces.

 

there was so much left to be said in that moment, but auston wasn’t sure he could pull the words out of anywhere.

 

if this was secret number one, auston wasn’t sure what was to come.

 

 

nights kept on like that, auston coming to mitch’s side when he knew the game wasn’t going the way it was supposed to, or when mitch let a puck loose. nothing was ever too serious for auston, but each missed shot was like a missed meal in mitch’s eyes.

 

“i used to hate christmas break,” mitch told him once while he was curled up under auston’s sheets, auston hacking away at a history paper due the next day.

 

“why?” auston asked out of habit. he was listening at the same time he wasn’t.

 

“it felt suffocating to be under the same roof as him for two weeks,” mitch said, quietly. “christmas is supposed to be about family, but chris stopped coming home as soon as he could. and now i’ve got them, and my dad told me i wasn’t getting anything already, so what’s the point?”

 

deciding the paper could be put off a little longer, auston closed his laptop.

 

he flicked off the lights on his way, and slid into bed beside mitch, pulling him close immediately.

 

“i’m sorry your dad sucks,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “how can i help?”

 

he felt mitch shrug in his arms, loose and tired. “just don’t suck.”

 

auston could do that.

 

 

**auston (7:58 p.m.)**

**come outside**

 

**auston (7:58 p.m.)**

**it’ll be really quick**

 

mitch didn’t reply, but he was out in minutes.

 

auston couldn’t help but grin at mitch’s cleaned up look, and as if he knew exactly what auston had been thinking, mitch blushed and turned away.

 

“makes my mom happy,” he grumbled.

 

auston laughed, pulling his bag off his shoulders.

 

“this should make you happy, too,” he said, tossing mitch a poorly wrapped gift.

 

mitch gaped, “this wasn’t an agreement!”

 

auston shrugged and stood back, putting his hands in his pockets. even with gloves, his fingers felt like they were freezing off.

 

“open it,” he said.

 

“you made me feel like an asshole,” mitch grumbled, pulling at the paper.

 

it was easy to tell when mitch saw exactly what it was, as his mouth fell further open, and his arms were suddenly around auston’s neck.

 

“you really didn’t have to,” he said in a rush. “holy shit, you really, really shouldn’t have.”

 

auston shrugged, and pulled his hands back out, to rub small circles on mitch’s back.

 

“anything to make your christmas a little better,” he said.

 

“it’s the best one yet,” mitch whispered.

 

the sound of the front door opening behind them pulled them out of their moment. when they looked back, mitch’s dad was stood on the porch.

 

“mitch, what are you doing?” he asked, sounding gruff, like any dad would.

 

“hey mr. marner,” auston said, putting on his captain voice. “team did a secret santa this year, and i had to drop off mitch’s gift. i do have to head home though, ema has a few more movies on tonight’s watchlist.”

 

“see you, auston,” paul said.

 

“yeah, see you, matty,” mitch said, quieter.

 

further down the street, auston turned back to see mitch and his dad on the porch, mitch showing off what auston had gotten him, his dad nodding in a sort of analyzing way.

 

he wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad sign.

 

 

it was almost two in the morning when the matthews clan had finally called it a night, but auston had a few notifications on his phone to run through.

 

there were more mass ‘merry christmas’ texts, a couple DMs on twitter, and a final snapchat from mitch himself, saved for last, obviously.

 

opening it, it was hard not to crack a smile at the picture he saw. it was mitch wearing the leafs hoodie auston had gotten him, a wide smile taking over his face in the blurry selfie.

 

auston sent back a black screen captioned _‘like it?’_

 

mitch sent back another selfie, blurry as hell, but auston still had to stop himself from screenshotting it.

 

 _‘i’m never taking this off’_ it was captioned.

 

he wasn’t sure what to reply next, but auston didn’t want to lose this moment. he couldn’t get enough, it was almost as if he had love on the brain.

 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry fellas, i hope you enjoyed otherwise.
> 
> stay safe, and stay happy, tomorrow is another day.


End file.
